I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have aggressive nipples.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
