i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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