I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
