once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
