and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
