There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
