It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
