i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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