We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
