I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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