Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
