Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
