what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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