I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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