Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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