Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
