I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
