I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
