You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
