i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
