Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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