i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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