Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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