Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
