That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
