summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
