Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We need to rekindle our bromance
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My vagina just clenched in fear
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
