my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
