It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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