I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
