not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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