I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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