what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
