Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm bleeding and have questions
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
