I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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