Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
