I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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