I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize