Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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