i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
