I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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