Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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