Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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