first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
