The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize