whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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