hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
