Whod you bang
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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