One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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