so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
