i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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