i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
