They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
