are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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