I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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