She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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