I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
