You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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