we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize