she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
