I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
How does one acquire holy water?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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